love & madness & liberation

still waiting on whether or not north carolina went blue.
numerous field organizers have told us that we made a significant difference, that the influx of 30 students helped (if it indeed turned, and if not-- helped it get so close!) turn these two counties (cumberland, wake), if not the whole state, blue.
but that makes me think about some questions to post on later: why do we need to congratulate ourselves for being important in this victory? what about the people who have been working on the campaign for 11 months? alisha (i was incorrectly spelling her name, 'alicia') personally registered almost A THOUSAND PEOPLE. over nine hundred! herself! If I encouraged 5 people who wouldn't ahve otherwise to go to the polls, which i'd call an optimistic estimate, times 30 of us, that's still only 150 votes...
obviously that kind of counting isn't useful, but that's kind of my point. this self-congratulatory nature of our victory-talk is making me uncomfortable...
is it about us as individuals, or us as a whole?*
*obama hinted at differences between imagining outselve as individuals versus as a community, or a whole. i am interested to re-read his speech tomorrow...
another thought: all of the obama gear looks different now than it did earlier today. is it different to wear pins of a president than of a hopeful candidate?

more to remember for later:
-the man who tried to intimidate me today from leaving door hangers with poll information
- talking to the workers outside of one of the brand-new communities, who 'wouldn't vote for either' even if they could
-etc